I’ve introduced myself as a Writing Momma, but have not done my introduction to my Mom Life.
This post has taken me a long time to get to. Why? Because lately, my mom life is EXHAUSTING.
I tried to write today while Anthony was napping, but he woke up. I tried to write during his lunch, but mostly, he just fed his lunch to the dog while I got the post ready. I did get a little done. (I know it appears that the computer isn’t on. It is. The sun was on it. It was HOT today.) Night time writing is basically all I usually have time for, but I’ve been really tired lately.
I’m getting ready for a HUGE trip. But not doing a very good job because I’m hanging out with my son during the day, and then I’m exhausted when he goes to bed. We’ve been spending a lot of time outside because we are both happiest outdoors. I haven’t even had time for blogging or any major writing projects.
I’m posting now though. Here’s a bit of an introduction into my motherhood journey.
I need to start by saying that I never really imagined myself as a mother. I decided to become a mom at age 35. I was finally ready. There are many people in my life who have told me they were made to be a mom. I didn’t really ever feel that, but I knew I wanted to try. I was at a stable job, in a stable relationship. I’m not married to my partner, but we do own a house together. We also have a dog.
Our dog was basically our first baby. Before I had my son, I was so worried about him being alone while I was in labour. We still treat him like he’s another kid. This photo was shortly before my third trimester.
We found out we were having a boy at the second ultrasound. I don’t think I would have been able to wait. We had names picked out for both male and female before we found out. I wanted to name my children after grandparents. His name is my grandmother’s maiden name. His middle name is his grandpa middle name on his dad’s side.
The third trimester was tough as hell. I had gestational diabetes. I had terrible back pain. I had acid reflux. I had hemorrhoids. It was the worst. However, every kick made it worth it.
I was induced a week early on May 17th because of the gestational diabetes. I had an emergency c-section on May 18th after being in labour for about 17 hours. I also had an epidural, so 5 of those hours felt pretty good.
My son was born at 7:24 p.m. on May 18th. It was scary. It was new. It was wonderful.
I still remember getting settled in our room, and the nurse leaving us alone with our newborn. I panicked. I had no idea what we would do without a nurse by our side. We survived. Truthfully though, I didn’t really think farther than the labour.
Breastfeeding was NOT easy. I think they should just tell people it’s hard. There is a lot of pressure to breastfeed. Personally, I truly believe fed is best. I was lucky I managed to breastfeed until just over a year though.
At about three weeks, Anthony started throwing up every bit of milk I fed him. After a week of worrying, and seeing signs of dehydration, I took him to the ER. Following my instincts was the best thing. He was taken into surgery the next day because of an enlarged muscle that wouldn’t let the food go down. (Pyloric Stenosis). After the surgery, he was so much happier. He was able to keep down a meal, and started to gain weight like crazy.
I had a year maternity leave. But after a year with my son, I knew I didn’t want to go back to work. I wanted to see my son grow up. I wanted to stay home and be a Write at Home Mom. This wasn’t a money-making idea. It was simply what I wanted. With a partner who works away for days, weeks, or months at a time, staying home seemed like the best option. A year in, and it’s still not a money-making idea. It was just something I had to do. I don’t regret this decision.
His first birthday was wonderful. The first year flew by.
I am constantly learning and trying to be better. I’ll never be the perfect mom, and I don’t want to be the perfect mom. I always want to do better though. I still get frustrated easily, and I would love to be a calm and peaceful mom. So far it hasn’t happened.
Watching my son learn is the best. I love it. I LOVE it. I didn’t know I would love it this much. I didn’t think I would laugh this much.
Before I had kids, I was pretty sure I’d never go out in public with my son in sweat pants. I also thought he’d never have a snotty nose. (I knew it would be snotty, I just thought I’d be able to keep it clean.)
I was wrong. About both of those things.
That’s basically my Mommy Life introduction in a nut shell. I will have so much more to write about, but it will come. I don’t know when. My intention was to post once a week, but I’ll hold off while driving to Ontario. Or I’ll post some updates. My mom and I are travelling with my dog and toddler on a five-day driving trip. Once there, my mom will fly home, and I will be living in a camper with my partner, the dog, the toddler, and my partner’s co-worker who lives in the bunkbed room. I imagine I’ll have MANY stories.
Thanks for reading.
Happy Almost Thursday!
©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.