I was going to write about my all inclusive trips. I’ve had two. I’m not going to tonight. I may just leave that one unless somebody requests it.
My brain needs a break. I feel like today my brain and heart have been worried about something. What? I don’t know. That’s part of my anxiety issues. My heart worries. I’m worried that right now somebody is feeling hurt by my actions. I worry about other people’s actions. I worry constantly about things I have no control over. I know I’m not the only one.
That’s not the only thing though. I’m tired. This posting every day is exhausting. This weather is exhausting. My sprained ankle is very exhausting. My son is both exhausting and exhilarating. It’s all getting to me.
To fix this, I am going to talk about it. Talking about my travels is fun, but I haven’t travelled out of the country in about five years. I miss it, but that’s not my life right now. I don’t know why writing everyday isn’t helping my spirit like it usually does. It’s feeling overwhelming. I haven’t spent a lot of time writing in my journal or reading because my spare moments are spent writing for this blog or for other online magazines (non paying). That could be it. I imagine the other problem is that my brain isn’t really used to working every day like this. I work. Raising my son is work and it’s not easy, but other than Nanowrimo, this is the most work that hasn’t included my son I’ve done. Nanowrimo is sometimes easier because I don’t have to share what I write. This is one hundred percent shared. I’m sharing it with the world, or anybody that’s interested.
I’ve been feeling down. I want to get out of it, but I feel like we’ve been stuck in the house for weeks. Either because of -50 weather, or because somebody has been sick. I already mentioned that I sprained my ankle. The entire thing is bruised and hurting right now, but I am luckily able to walk on it.
I’ve made it a goal for my kiddo and I to get out of the house once a day this week. We’re going to different libraries in the city to explore. Books and a kid’s corner are both great things for us.
Honestly, I don’t have a lot to say today. That’s why I chose to change the post idea. I don’t have the energy. Tomorrow will be back to normal. (I’m skipping the one that I should have done today.)
Being a parent is the least of my worries this week. I’m not stressed out being his momma. Clint has been home this last week, and it’s helped a lot.
I really don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m just letting the anxiety get the best of me. I’m feeling like this season is stomping on me. I am usually ready for winter to end around March. I can handle it until then. But this year, I’m done. It’s cold. It’s too cold to play outside. Even my son doesn’t want to go outside. I haven’t had the energy to leave my house.
I can only hope next week will be better. Tomorrow will be better.
Don’t worry. I’m still feeling the gratitude. I’m still happy I’m here. I’m just having a hard week.
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