Letter to myself in 10 years

Dear Erin,

Hi friend. I think we’ve finally gotten to a place where I would be proud to be your friend. I sometimes look at us in the past, and I’m honestly not sure if we would be friends. Not because of your age, but because you weren’t in the same place, and at times I think you were too selfish. That being said, there were other times when I knew you needed friends, and I would never say no to you. You needed guidance at times.

I’ve gotten off track. As most people (and wine), we get better as we age. I assume you continue to become a better person.

I honestly don’t know where our lives will be in ten years. I’ve never been good at looking into the future. When I was younger, it was because I didn’t want to stop living in the moment. I didn’t want to grow up. I don’t mind living life like that.

Except that we have grown up a little bit more. In ten years you will be 48. You will also have a 12 year old. (Almost 13!)

Before we talk about my wishes for you, I want to remind you of some things you said in the past. You did a Facebook post 7 years ago about things people might know about you. I see these in “On This Day” section. I’m not sharing them all, but I do think they’re interesting. They show how a person changes. When you read this, you may see the changes from 7 years, to ten years, to now. (now in the future that is).

I probably say more on social networks than I say in real life. I keep a blog because I want to get my writing into the world any way I can. It keeps me sane, and also has a lot of personal things in it about me. I’d rather get the embarrassing things out than hold it in.

This is still true. I try to be honest in real life and in my social networking. I try not to be scared to say the same things out loud as I would in my writing. For a time, I was over posting on social media. I have my reasons, but I think one of them was just because I wanted to be heard. These past years, I’ve spent a lot of time alone with just my toddler because my partner has been working away from home. It was probably loneliness. I was reaching out to an online network. I still write personal and embarrassing things in my blog. I’ll never stop. My blog is my truth. I hope you’ve learned a balance between real life words and online words.

I do better one on one than in crowds. I’m a quiet person in social situations. I really hate when people bring attention to the fact that I’m being quiet in front of a crowd. It’s not going to make me talk any more, but it will make me mad.

I think this is still true, but I’ve done much better in social crowds. Possibly because I’m with a toddler all day so any excuse to talk, I take. I also don’t get mad if somebody calls me quiet. Why would I be mad? I guess I was defensive, but it’s part of my personality. I can do nothing but be proud of who I am. I hope you love who you are.

I worry about everything. Lately, it’s to the point where I get anxious about things. I’d like to fix that. I sometimes have trouble catching my breath, and I’m pretty sure it’s anxiety or panic attacks.

This is interesting. It took me 7 more years to figure it out. It was anxiety. I still worry about everything, but I’m working on it. I hope you have the worries figured out. Life is better without worries, I just am not quite there yet.

If I could afford it, I would only travel. If I could live without needing a job, I wouldn’t pick one place to stay. I would travel. Everywhere. Buying a house would be pretty far down the list, unless I bought one every place I fell in love with. (That’s a pretty big lottery I’d have to win.) Plus, I can write from anywhere.

We bought a house. I love it. I’d still love to travel all the time, but it’s definitely not affordable with a kid and life. In ten years, I hope you and your family do a lot of travelling and exploring.

I try to be optimistic on social networks. I had my gratitude blog because looking at all the good around me, and the good happening in my life helps keep any sort of depression far from me. I think it’s important to be grateful for the little and big things in life.

I am still grateful every day. I still find things to be grateful about. I am still optimistic on social networking sites. However, I also try to be realistic. If I am grieving, if I am having a bad day as a Momma, if things aren’t perfect, I never try to pretend they are. Honestly, I hope to do this in real life. Because in ten years, I hope you know that real life is so much more important than online life. That doesn’t change things. I still hope you are able to mix gratitude and reality. Life’s not perfect. We don’t have to pretend it is.

That’s it for the things I wrote 7 years ago. I came across it, and I thought it was pretty interesting. Life is the same, but it’s different. I assume it’ll be like this in ten years as well. We are still Erin. We make mistakes, we learn, we try to be the best person we can be.

You’ll now have a teenager, and I have no idea how you will handle that. I’ll just sit here and have a laugh at future you. Because I get the toddler years, and you don’t. (But you had them.)

I actually find it quite confusing to write to a future version of myself. I used to do this in letter form. I wish I had continued.

Honestly, I just hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re being the best person you can. I hope the world is a little bit better because of us.

In other topics, I hope you have a writing career. If you aren’t making money, I hope you are still writing.

I hope you and our kiddo love each other like crazy, and you’re still loving being his momma.

That’s it. Be happy, future Erin. See you in ten years.

Erin

I also hope you still love climbing trees.

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

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