I can’t talk about what anxiety is to anybody else. I can talk about what it is to me.
It is Mental Health Monday, and on Instagram it’s the day I do a Mental Health check in.
Lately, the anxiety has been fierce, but I’ve decided to do something about it. I sometimes forget to do my coping mechanisms even though it is usually guaranteed to help. I find if I keep myself busy, that also helps me which means sometimes on the weekends when things slow down, I let it take over.
Yesterday was rough. My emotions were all over the place, and I finally decided to do something about it. I write to help with my anxiety, but I needed something else. I decided to exercise. I’ve been off the exercising path for a while now, and it’s unfortunate. It wasn’t on purpose. It was one part lack of money, and one part being exhausted by the end of the day. I got on my elliptical for the first time in 2020. It made me laugh out loud. I laughed for the first time all day because I made time to do something that makes me feel great. I stayed on it for 20 minutes.
Today I woke up feeling so much better. My anxiety was not bothering me which meant I had more patience, I wasn’t anger, I was less tired, and I was excited for the day. We had a good day.
And then I got home to discover my oven is broken. And I cried. It’s something that can be fixed (somehow), but I was frustrated that yet another thing happened that I have to handle by myself. Being a solo mom is frustrating, (being an adult is frustrating) and it brings out my anxiety at times. I mean – anxiety brings out my anxiety, but sometimes small things trigger me. So, as I said, I cried because I couldn’t fix. I’ll figure it out. That’s the thing. This situation is completely fixable.
So with that, here are some things I do to deal with my anxiety.
- I write. We know that. I write about my anxiety. I write about my struggles. I write about my triumphs. I write fiction. I write.
- I remind myself that my troubles are not that big. Sometimes they are, and sometimes they feel like they are, but they aren’t. I have seen people dealing with so much more, and they are brave and strong, and they let people see what they are going through. I think of those people. They are amazing people that are going through so much more.
- I remind myself of the great things. My gratitude. I had an amazing day before my supper wouldn’t cook because the oven wouldn’t heat up. I had a good day. The oven was nothing. I’m grateful for my day.
- I will exercise. Not to get in shape (although that’s good too), not to get thin. I will exercise because it helps make me be stronger mentally and physically. Tonight, after Anthony fell asleep, I went on the elliptical for 30 minutes. It was needed, and I’m grateful for that time. I’m on day two of many.
- I will stop, and remind myself that I got this. Because I do.
That’s it. Here are some things that I don’t do, but I am happy that the options are there for me. I can take medication if it gets bad, and I can speak to a therapist. Those are options that are always there. And when I feel like I need them, I will look into it. I am a big advocate of therapy. I’ve done it in the past, but solo momming doesn’t make it as easy now.
For my Mental Health Monday check in, I am surviving. I will survive. And as I learn and stay consistent, I can help myself. Knowing I have anxiety has changed everything in my life. It’s become bigger than it used to be, but I will work on being better everyday.
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