It’s weird that I’m a stay at home Mom right now. It’s weird because life shouldn’t have changed that much now that we are stuck at home. But it has. We no longer have places to go. We can’t see friends. We can’t even go to the playground. We live our life, and we laugh, and we are happy, but there’s always a bit of fear. Even Anthony sees it. He didn’t want to go outside today because he was worried the germs would get him. I tried to tell him that we’d be okay in our backyard. We’d even be okay in the front yard as long as we didn’t get close to people. I don’t want my son to live in fear. I’m glad he understands the situation is serious, but I don’t want my boy to live in fear.
Our Tuesday was fine. We didn’t do a lot. We went outside, but it took me a long time to convince my son we should go out. I think we’ve both been a little bit lazy lately, and I really need to work harder to get us going. Tomorrow, we are going to get out in the morning. It’s just really hard to convince him to do anything, and sometimes I don’t fight it. He loves playing, and he has full out conversations with his trucks that make me smile. He plays, but we just haven’t had a lot of time for activities, and he’s asked for a lot of ‘show’.
He wakes up every morning so cheerfully. Usually, from his bed, he yells: “It’s time to wake uuuuppp.” Then he comes and tells me about his dream. This morning, he came in with some goldfish crackers and told me all about them. He makes mornings better.
We have a book about machines. It takes FOREVER to read. He talks a lot through it. 
My living room is a disaster. 
We watched Honey I Blew Up the Kids. Having a blown up Anthony is a super scary idea. 
We got dressed! 
The snow didn’t cover our sidewalk chalk. 
Made it outside. 
The snow was super heavy. 
Elliptical. 17 days in a row
And that’s my day. I actually got laundry done and put away. I shovelled the snow. I cleaned up all the crafts and baking supplies off my kitchen table, and I had a delicious crock pot meal for supper.
There was a moment today when I yelled in frustration. I’ve already admitted that I yell more than I want to, and I am constantly working on it. This time, I yelled, and I slammed a cupboard door. I was frustrated. Then I hugged my son, and explained why I was frustrated. He had repeated the same question over and over about a toy that we no longer had. He insisted he needed it even though it was broken. I was low on patience, and was trying to clean up after supper. He wasn’t listening to me. He rarely listens to me. The meltdown we both had wasn’t good, but the hug after and discussion about the meltdown helped. I told him I was sorry that Mommy had lost her cool, and I told him I shouldn’t make so much noise when I’m angry. Once again, this is something I am working on, and the reason I’m sharing is because I want to be honest about this isolation. I don’t get a break as a solo mom. I get frustrated. I am learning how to deal with it, but today I could have handled it better. I don’t like yelling, but sometimes I am good at it. So is my son. I am not perfect, and I will never be perfect, but I strive to be better.
We survived day 8. I’m trying to write one new word every day on my sidewalk. Today was Hope. Because we need it. Stay tuned for some activities in the days to come.
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Writing Momma Life 