Day 9 with so many more to go. I have been trying to figure out what my focus is these days. What my goals are in this time we’ve been given. Today, I choose to think of it as time we’ve been given. We are in the midst of freaking chaos, and it’s super scary, but we also get time for ourselves. Time with our families. We get time, and we have the privilege of living it. Not everybody is that lucky. Like I said in a previous post, my life hasn’t changed as much as others because I am a stay at home Mom, but it’s changed. I can see things differently, and I am trying. I’m learning more about myself, and I’m learning more about how to parent, and how to teach my son about what is going on around us. I’m also learning without having the wonderful places we go to because they were so much help.
So far, in my 9 days, I have worked hard to start good habits. I had already been on the elliptical before this happened, but I’m working so hard to continue the habit. Every day, I have to convince myself to get on the elliptical, and the reason I do is because I know if I miss just one day, I may not get back on it. (18 days in a row as of today.) It’s the same with writing. I give myself a little more room on this one. If I know I need a night off, I will give myself one. But I’m hoping for only one break a week, if that. If I take more than two days, I know I won’t start again as soon as I should.
I am happy to work on good habits for myself, but I now need to focus on my kiddo. I want him to learn that we need to get dressed everyday (except PJ days), and I want him to help me clean up every night before he goes to bed. We have a lot to work on. I also want him to play outside every day, and I want him to laugh all the time, and I want him to read with me and on his own. I want him to learn some independence knowing I am still by his side if he needs. It’s a lot, but I will work on it. This is all about being consistent myself, and working on making some fun habits for us.
Today, I got out of bed, and realised we had no power. I called my partner, and told him Anthony and I may as well go outside when he reminded me I could not have my morning coffee.
This was my breaking point. Through all of this, I’ve persevered. I’ve kept on going, but not having coffee was awful, and made me cry. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the first time I’ve cried, but I felt so defeated (and grumpy.)
I got us dressed, and we went through the Tim Horton’s drive through. This was actually my first time doing this in a long time. It was strange how normal it was. We pulled up next to a park, and ate our breakfast, and I drank my coffee with some relief. Anthony loved the picnic in the car, and I enjoyed it as well.
The rest of the day we spent playing. We played outside. We played inside. I got sick of playing, but my kid had a good day.
I wasn’t feeling well today. My stomach was hurting (maybe stress), and I was feeling run down. I was exhausted. I constantly google symptoms to the Coronavirus to make sure I’m good. I think if my son or I have a fever, that’s when I will allow myself to worry. Still – anytime you are sick, it is scary. Luckily, I got more energy by the end of the day.
I decided to spoil myself today. Last night, I ordered myself some supper and drinks from a local brewery. I ordered beer from High Key Brewery, and they also delivered perogies from Perogie Pirates (they’re in the same building). It was the best thing I could have done. I tried two new places in one night, and it was delivered right to my house.
We are still waiting to see if my partner’s job is done. If he hasn’t heard by Friday, he is planning to drive home from the States, and even if that leaves him without a job, I will be relieved to have him here and healthy. Although, we will see how he feels. He will have to self isolate when he gets home, and may have to live in the basement for 14 days. I’m not sure how we will convince Anthony to leave him be for that long, but we need to keep Anthony and I safe. No matter what. I think I will have a lot less anxiety when he is home with us.
This morning, we called my partner, and I was happy the two got to talk when my kiddo is his happiest. We also talked to him during bath time. It’s nice when Anthony is so happy during calls. Right before bed, we called Grandma. I told him he had to be in bed, and under the covers so Grandma could read him a story. Grandma read two stories, and then I read two stories, and I have to say, it was one of the best bedtimes we’ve had. He went to sleep as soon as I shut the light off.
Happy Wednesday. I’ll be back tomorrow with Day 10. Happy Distancing!
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